A Lily for a Lily
by crazyelf22
Summary: "It's not funny. She already doesn't like me. I don't need her to see me with dribble half way down my face!" It's just not quite working out for James yet.


"Er—James? Your chin is in your porridge."

"You know, Remus, I'm not sure he heard you."

"What do you think he's looking at?"

"Really, Peter? Are you _really_ that thick?"

"Oh, would you guys _shut _it already?" James snapped, flicking his gaze towards the three.

Remus rolled his eyes and returned to his copy of the Daily Prophet propped against the jug of pumpkin juice, muttering, "Wipe your chin, James."

Casting his eyes downward, James saw a little trail of porridge on the table as it fell from a spot on his chin.

James threw Sirius a dark look after he chuckled in response to James's cursing and hurriedly grabbed for a napkin.

"You couldn't have told me _earlier_, Remus?" James asked, throwing the soiled napkin on the table once he was done with it.

Remus opened his mouth to respond, but obviously thought the better of it as he quickly shut it again and shook his head, muttering to himself.

James noticed that Sirius was positively roaring with laughter now and chucked a pastry at him.

"It's not funny. She already doesn't like me. I don't need her to see me with dribble half way down my face!"

"Oh, come on, _Jamesie_," Sirius replied jokingly, knocking into his best friend's shoulder. "What is this? Aren't you always going on about how she must be _madly_ in love with you?"

But James wasn't really in the mood for a joke and, to show it, he shoved another pastry into Sirius's face.

"James," Remus said tiredly from across the table, "Why don't you just act like a gentleman around Lily? Is it really that hard?"

"Yes, actually, it is sometimes a bit difficult."

"Oh, for the love of Merlin… No, it's not. Look, Valentine's Day is tomorrow, right? Well, if you want Lily to know that you care for her, why not send her a nice card or gift? She might see you in a—a different l—light—" Remus barely finished his sentence before he began laughing so hard that the hand holding his toast shook and dropped it back on his plate.

"Wow, thanks. That's touching, Remus, really bloody touching. I'm so relieved to know that my _best friends_ have such _enormous_ faith in me."

"Sorry," Remus replied, stifling his laughter with a hand. "But I am serious. You're always trying to show off for her and everything. Why not just try something _else_ for a change?"

James was a little too preoccupied watching Sirius choke from his laughter to hear what Remus was saying. Grinning, he picked up his goblet and tipped the glass so that the juice fell down Sirius's chin and then onto his shirt and trousers.

Dripping, Sirius sputtered incoherent threats at James as the latter erupted with laughter.

Remus, however, didn't find it too funny. "This is _exactly_ why Lily doesn't give you the time of day. Because you can't be serious for even _one_ moment of your life." And with that he turned back to his Daily Prophet, holding it up as a wall between himself and the other three.

James stopped laughing at the suddenness of Remus's scolding and looked to the other two, only to receive uncertain shrugs in response.

* * *

><p>Later, at the end of his afternoon classes, James took his time gathering his things, watching Lily talk to another girl as they packed their bags to leave History of Magic. It just wasn't fair for one person to be so <em>perfect<em>. The way her hair curled at the ends a bit, the way her eyes crinkled when she laughed, and the way her freckles were like a dusting of sweet cinnamon on her flawless face… It was just…perfect. Was it any _wonder _that he was completely and utterly smitten with her?

Sighing wistfully, he finally had to say good-bye to his happy dreams and thoughts as he took a different turn to meet his friends in the common room. As he went, James couldn't help but think back on what Remus had said. _Why not send her a nice card or gift…? _

_What do I have to lose?_ He figured it was worth a try. Maybe it would turn out that Lily liked him back all along…

He smiled at the thoughts of what could happen—her laughing at his jokes, watching him play Quidditch, going to Hogsmeade with him—and immediately hauled his bag to his favorite armchair by the common room fire as soon as he got there. He pulled out a piece of parchment and set to work.

Nearly an hour, a lot of scratching out, and a pile of balled up pieces of parchment later, James ran up to his dormitory, delighted to find his friends all already present and accounted for, and produced his hard work with a flourish, looking rather pleased with himself.

"What is it?" Peter asked, eyeing it warily after James handed it off to Remus.

Remus's forehead creased like it did during a particularly challenging piece of schoolwork as he read it over. "It looks like…"

"A poem!" Sirius exclaimed with zest as he looked over Remus's shoulder. He snatched it out of Remus's hands and paraded around the dormitory, reading aloud:

_My Flower_

_How beautiful you are,_

_Sitting before me._

_I watch you from afar,_

_Unable to hide my glee._

_I keep wishing on my lucky stars, _

_Hoping that one day we can be._

_Your Valentine_

After he finished, Sirius merely stared at the parchment while James waited to hear how _good_ they thought it was, how much they think she'll _love_ it, how it was just _so_—

"_Hilarious_!" Sirius cried, hugging his sides as he shook with uncontrollable laughter. It became so much that he fell on the floor and began pounding his fists against it.

James thought it must be a joke. Sirius was never serious and he thought this must be his way of saying that he liked the poem. But Sirius didn't stop. He was _tearing_ up from laughing for crying out loud!

"So…do you like it?"

"L—like it?" Sirius began calming down. "It—it's the funniest thing I've ever read in my life!"

It was a hard thing for James to admit to himself that this hurt. It really shouldn't have. It was only a dumb _poem_, after all.

He swallowed and nodded, choking out a laugh. "You're right, man. I just thought it'd be a funny joke, you know? I wasn't actually going to send something like _that_ to Lily."

Sirius finally regained his breath and slowly stood again, his face reddened. "Good one, James. I needed that laugh." He threw a dirty look at Remus. "Moons and Wormtail are trying to make me _study_."

"Oh, _forgive _us. We should _never_ have cared for your education and well-being! What were we _thinking_?"

"I don't _need _to study. I'm already brilliant!"

Remus snorted at this declaration and rolled his eyes.

"I think I'll go, er, write the _real _card now," said James when he realized that Sirius wasn't going to suddenly tell him he was joking, as James had hoped. He smiled in attempt to make it seem as if the poem _had _been a joke and made for the door. "I'll see you guys later."

His face fell as soon as the door clicked shut behind him. They really didn't like it. He had tried so _hard_ to actually write something _worthwhile_ for her, but it had just blown up in his face. He wasn't very good at that sort of thing, but he hadn't thought it was _that _bad.

_Well_, James reasoned as he stumbled down the stairs to try something else, _at least they told me before I could make an idiot of myself in front of her…_

* * *

><p>"<em>Sirius<em>!"

"What?" Sirius jumped at the angry tone of Remus's voice. "What'd I do?"

"_How _could you say those things to your _best friend_?

_"_What are you _talking_ about?"

He briefly glanced at Peter for support, but the object of his gaze looked away, seemingly in agreement with Remus.

"James obviously worked hard on that poem for Lily. He at least _tried_, which is a hell of a lot more than you've ever done for a girl. And you just shot it down like it was _nothing_."

Sirius's mouth fell open a little. "But…James said that it was a _joke_! He—he didn't _mean_—"

"And of course it's _impossible_ that James might've lied to you so you wouldn't make him feel even _worse_ for being upset that you didn't like it."

Sirius swallowed. "Well, _maybe_—"

"There's no maybe about it!" Remus interrupted. "For once, James really tried to do something nice for Lily, and you ruined it. I hope you're happy."

That feeling, the one that makes it seem as though a rogue cloud has turned dark and won't stop following you, the one that makes you feel like you're not _good enough_ to be around other people, _better_ people, is the feeling that Sirius felt just then. His mood turned sullen and dull once he realized that he actually hurt his best friend on the eve of the Valentine's Day when he was actually going to do something for a girl that he'd fancied for quite some time.

He could no longer stand Remus's antagonizing silence and Peter's awkward way of trying not to stare by…well, staring. Albeit, out of the corner of his eye, but still. (_As if that makes it any better_, Sirius wanted to tell him). Silently, Sirius crossed the room to the door and let himself out.

_Stupid, stupid, stupid! Why can't you act like a normal human being for five flipping minutes? _A whole wave of self-bashing thoughts entered Sirius's mind as he went down the staircase. He was nearly at the bottom when he looked up and noticed James sitting at a table in the common room, hunched over another piece of parchment, tongue between his teeth (something he came to know over the years as a nervous habit of James's).

Sirius stopped, suddenly overwhelmed with shame. He couldn't just go up to James now; not after what he'd said! He had to make this _right_.

He slunk down the last few steps and hurriedly hid behind the curtains at the bottom, watching and waiting for an ingenious idea to arrive…

Finally, James stood from his spot, stretched, and then proceeded to clean up the table, magically taking care of the balled up pieces of parchment at his feet and putting his supplies back into his bag. Lastly, he took a piece of parchment from the table that Sirius recognized as the poem and went over to the common room fire.

And Sirius just felt so awful and despicable as he watched James throw the poem into the fire and turn his back on it. With a tired yawn, he disappeared up the stairs without even a suspicious glance at the curtains. (_I really must've made him upset if he's so far gone that he doesn't even notice my feet sticking out,_ Sirius thought bitterly).

Luckily the fire was small and dim at that hour of the night and by the time Sirius decided it safe to come out from hiding, the parchment was just curling around the poem. Smoke from the fire had blurred some of the letters together, but it was still legible.

* * *

><p>The next morning James woke up early and got himself ready before even Peter (who was always the earliest riser of the four) got out of bed. He was just turning off his alarm and sliding out of his four-poster when James came out of the bathroom, ready to send his Valentine.<p>

"Wow," he said, stopping James in his tracks with his slightly raised brows. "It's strange the effect this girl has on you."

James shrugged. "What can I say? People in love do _crazy_ things."

Peter chuckled. "Good luck."

"Thanks." James shot him a grin and then hurried out the door with his jacket over one arm and his scarf around the other and down the stairs. The whole tower was still quiet with the exception of the crackling of a newly lit fire. He passed right on through, en route for the greenhouses.

The silence outside would have been creepy if everything didn't look so wonderful with a fresh blanket of snow all around. But even the snow's charm had just about worn off as James crossed the grounds. It may have looked nice, but the snow was bitterly cold. He was glad to find some form of life in Professor Sprout when he finally reached the greenhouses.

"Potter!" she exclaimed in surprise as he came up to her. She set down the pots in her arms and clapped the dirt off of her hands and sleeves. "Whatever are you doing out here? Your class doesn't start 'till midday, silly boy!"

James ignored the 'silly boy' part and took in a deep breath. "Actually, I came to ask for a favor, Professor."

"Oh, do tell me Black hasn't accidentally poisoned himself again!"

"No, no," he assured her. "We keep bezoars in our dormitory now so that we're prepared."

"Good boy," she smiled. "What is it, then?"

James gulped. It was awfully weird to be asking a teacher for help with a girl, even if it was an easy-going one like Sprout. "Well…"

"Spit it out, Potter!"

"It's like this, Professor," he informed the pots at her feet. "Today is Valentine's Day and I wanted to do something nice for—er—this girl in my class. And…see…I wanted to give her some flowers. Only, I don't know where else to get some. So I—I wanted to see if you might…you know…have some."

He waited. His face was flaming and he would _not_ look up at her. It was much too embarrassing at this point…

And then…

She giggled.

James was sure he heard it right. Professor Sprout. _Giggled_.

"Oh, young _love_," she sighed. "I'm sure I have a little something for you. Follow me, I do keep a common flower garden because I _am_ fond of some kinds…"

A little while later, James was trailing after Professor Sprout as she showed him all the different flowers in her personal garden house.

"And those are daffodils," she explained, pointing towards a large yellow one with something sticking out of it that looked an awful lot to James like one of those things that cupcakes come in. He didn't like them too much, but there were so many other flowers around! He really couldn't decide which ones Lily might like best.

Apparently Professor Sprout noticed his troubles. "You don't have to pick the perfect ones," she told him. "Just pick what you think looks nice…what reminds you of this girl."

James nodded and looked around him, trying to pinpoint _Lily_. If…she were a flower.

"But…I like all of them," he said.

Professor Sprout smiled. "Then pick as many different kinds as you like."

"Really, you mean it, Professor?"

"Absolutely. I can grow _more_ flowers, Potter. But Valentine's Day only comes but once a year!"

James smiled gratefully at her and then set off, picking up every flower that drew his eye until he had nearly a full bouquet.

"Something doesn't feel right," he said, after turning down the fifth flower in a row that he almost felt would 'complete' it. "It just feels like I need something else…but I don't know what." Puzzled, he walked past every row, searching for just the right flower. Towards the end, he noticed a small, shielded, yet pretty white flower hiding away behind a large one that Sprout had earlier told him was a chrysanthemum.

"What's that one?"

Professor Sprout came over and looked at it. "Oh, that? It's a Lily, dear."

With a smile, James carefully plucked it and placed it right in the middle. "It's perfect."

* * *

><p>"Calm down, James," advised Sirius as they neared the Great Hall. "I'm sure she'll love it."<p>

"You think so?" asked James, apparently doing a number to keep his voice calm, though Sirius could see nervousness written all over his red face and twitchy movements.

"I _know_ so, buddy." Sirius clapped a hand on his friend's shoulder. "She'll like it _for sure_."

"Thanks. I hope you're right."

James seemed to lighten up after that and piled his plate when they reached the Gryffindor table.

"What's got you acting so encouraging?" Remus whispered as he settled next to Sirius. He shrugged, but let a smile slip. He couldn't help it! He'd found the perfect solution last night. It was clear once he'd so bravely saved the poem from a fiery death. He was just an owl away from a guilt-free conscience. So that morning, after James had left for his Valentine's 'errands', Sirius went on a little trip himself, right up to the Owlery where he sent James's poem to Lily.

As if on cue, a downpour of owls came towards the tables. James accidentally got too excited and almost knocked a jug of pumpkin juice over, but caught it just in time. Then, almost spastically, he snapped his head back up.

His eyes were down the table, glued to the pretty redhead that was receiving a particularly large bunch of flowers from one of the school owls. Sirius watched as her mouth dropped open as she took the bouquet and then later a small piece of parchment from another of the school's owls.

He grinned at the look of pleasure on her face when she read the card and admired the beautiful flowers. And it only grew when he turned to James and found the goofiest, happiest, most lovesick, googly-eyed smile he had ever seen in his life. In fact, if he wasn't so helplessly bloody happy for the guy, he would probably punch him in the shoulder for such a look. But, as it were…

"Happy Valentine's Day, mate," he simply muttered.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** Just a short little something I happened to dig up in my files. Thanks for reading! :)


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